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Tuesday, August 6, 2013

When Yes to God Means No

"Be on guard.  Stand firm in the faith.  Be courageous.  Be strong.  And do everything in love."  I Corinthians 16:13-14

Kicking and screaming in 2007.  Like a disobedient and overwhelmed toddler drama queen, that's how my heart responded to the circumstances I found myself in.  And no choice.  No way out.  Really God?  I mean, hadn't He given me enough in the past year?  A husband deployed to Iraq for a year, a senior in high school applying to colleges, a daughter getting married in the summer, a junior higher with a bad case of mono and a cancerous lesion on her shoulder needing surgery?  And now I was supposed to move to Germany?  Leave two daughters and aging parents an ocean away?  We were to ship our car and household goods, saunter back and forth across the entire country for the wedding, drop our daughter off at the college dorm curb and move to Europe.  All within 2 weeks.  I felt abandoned.  I didn't know how to physically do it, much less emotionally readjust to a husband who had spent the last year in a war zone and say goodbye to two daughters at once.  I wrung my heart out to God, "Why have you abandoned me?"

The next Sunday, I took my angry heart to our military chapel with our two youngest daughters.  Another well-meaning military wife had just encouraged me, "Oh, you'll love Germany!"  I didn't want to hear it again.  Not one more time. How could they understand?  And why was I attending a place of worship?  I sat during the singing, arms folded tightly.  Don't. talk. to. me.  The  chaplain took his place in front of the congregation.  What he said next I'll never forget.

"I had a sermon all prepared, and last night, God told me to change it.  There's someone or maybe several people in here who feel like God has abandoned them.  And so, today, my message for you is: God has not abandoned you."

I'd like to say that after that glimpse- into- eternity encounter, my heart changed completely.  It didn't.  Yet this God of grace took the screaming toddler inside of me and held me close.  He did not condemn. He held my hand across the country and back, at the wedding, and on the dorm curb.  He took it again as we crossed the Atlantic Ocean.  I learned that saying yes to God means saying no to me.

I have met many women who live out extraordinary circumstances in what may appear to some as mundane existence.   Some reside in small, Midwest towns where they were born and will probably live out the rest of their lives.  Some don't know where to call home because the military has moved them so much. Others press on in ministry, whether it be in rural churches or urban soup kitchens. Women who have turned their palms up and said, "Yes, God!" with bowed hearts to the Creator, even though they may not understand His ways.  Women who may never be well-known by the world's definition of fame, but by exemplifying strong faith inspire others to follow Christ with abandon.

The beautiful, energetic Army wife whose second son was born with Downs Syndrome.  She and her husband named him William for William the Conqueror.  And he conquers milestones.  His optimistic, hilarious mother handles her life with grace, humor and thanksgiving.  She said "no" to self-pity. Yes, God.

The mother of 4 naturally born children and one adopted who was given an opportunity to adopt 4 more from one family.  She and her husband brought these 3 girls and 1 boy into their hearts and home.  9 children.  And then she quit her full-time job to love them through their past into a hopeful future, because God nudged her to trust Him with finances.  She said "no" to fear. Yes, God.

The 80 year old senior who can't make it to church very often anymore because her husband is chair-bound.  She loves visitors, because she cares for her groom, sitting with him for hours and ministering to his needs.  She's been taking care of him since 1969.  44 years.  She lives out the covenant of marriage vows that she took so many years ago in sacrificing love.  She said "no" to self.  Yes, God.

The church planter's wife with a passion for Jesus and His Word who wonders every day, "Who will you put in my path to introduce Jesus to? When will You establish this church?"  She homeschools 3 kids, clings to God's promises with her husband, stands firm and shows courage.  She said "no" to wavering faith. Yes, God.

The great-grandmother whose 3 children, 7 grandchildren and 8 great-grandchildren still live within 50 miles of where she was born.  She and her retired farmer husband keep the house and land that his parents owned.  She still works part-time as a pastoral care coordinator in the church she has been a member for 59 years, participates in the women's ministries, and passes on her humble heart and joyful faith to the generations in her family.  She said "no" to discontentment.  Yes, God.

A young teenage girl over 2000 years ago who met an angel and was told she would bear Emmanuel, Jesus, conceived by the Holy Spirit.  Literally, breath.  God chose her because she was an ordinary girl-woman whom He knew would say yes.  She said "no" to needing all the immediate answers.  Yes, God.

Ordinary women.  Extraordinary faith.  What can we learn from those that God has called to say no to say YES to Him?  Palms up!






17 comments:

  1. Aww, thank you for cheering on my favorite Army wife and William! This is a great perspective to have, Yes to God is no to self from the miniature moments of getting up one more time to get toilet paper for my screaming three year old or the swallowing of bitterness and serving crabby family members with joy. No to self is a hard lesson to learn, thankfully God's grace is sufficient, healing, teaching and perfect.

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    1. I love her and her wit and optimism....we met at Benning. Love your comments about God's grace. Aren't you glad it's about His grace and love through Jesus and not about our performance? Thank you for reading and for your encouragement.

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  2. Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. This spoke to my heart. Thank you for sharing. Grace has been ringing in my ear lately. 'He has grace for this, too!'

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    1. Always praying for you and watching how you live your lives...full of the WORD and living it out and passing the God Thing on to your kids. Wish I could have a time release capture of all the Jesus insights they share :).

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  3. Excellent and encouraginng to read your article!

    I'm saying "no" to fear and comfortable life, and continually learning to yes to God!

    Chosen by Him,
    Trisha Goddard

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    1. Trisha,
      Thanks for reading...wish we could meet in person! Fear is definitely something I'm saying no to and giving to Him as well. I think sometimes God gently pries our fingers open so we can hold our palms up to Him. Loved reading your blog and looking forward to hearing more of your journey!

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  4. Thanks for writing! I can SO identify with your words as I am sitting right now in West Africa after a similar experience. Fear....oh yes!! But, God has walked in front of me as I left our college boys and has shown me great beauty in this place and I am grateful. Yes to God, means sometimes no to self...but His plan is ALWAYS better. YES God!! #palmsup

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    1. Wow, West Africa! One of my bucket list places :). It is amazing what He shows us, isn't it? Germany/Europe ended up being one of our favorite places and a place He showed us His rest. Praying for you and your boys right now. Hope they get to visit. #Palms up!!

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  5. I love this post. Thank you so much for sharing. I love the way you point out that we can say Yes to God right where we are no matter where that may be!

    Melissa S OBS Group Leader

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    1. Melissa, thank you so much for reading! And bless you for saying yes to Him as an OBS Group Leader. The more we get into the study, the more encouraged I am by reading about the work of the Holy Spirit in all of these women's lives. Praying for you as you lead!

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  6. Wow, this almost took my breath away and brought some tears. I can identify so much with the "toddler" behavior towards God. Thank you so much for sharing this, it spoke right into my heart.

    Jennifer N
    OBS Core/Teaching Teams

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    1. Hi Jennifer, thank you for your sweet encouragement and for reading! God is beautiful, isn't He? I pray He speaks to every woman in this study of how personally He loves each one individually. Praying for all of you leaders, for His blessing and anointing and wisdom.

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  7. Praising God for how He works in our lives...the Holy Spirit has joined our hearts! Even though we can't sit together in a family room or a coffee shop, we can share and encourage. Thankful for all of you ladies who just encouraged me. :) Refuse to turn back!

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  8. Wow, I loved this thought: "I learned that saying yes to God means saying no to me." I confess this, too, that sometimes I can react like a spoiled toddler throwing a tantrum when God asks me to do something. I am amazed at how He met you in that chapel that day and so thankful that our God is so gracious to do that--to reach out to us in our hurt and fear and let us know that He is with us!!

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    1. Heather, thank you for stopping by and for sharing! You are an encouragement to me because you are seeking Him with your heart to say yes to Him. I am loving all of the blogs and hearing how God is moving. I wish we could all meet..wouldn't that be awesome? Prayed for you this morning, that God would surprise you in His personal presence today.

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  9. Beautiful! Your words brought tears to my eyes. I can sadly relate to that tantrum stage although my circumstances have been different. I too have asked "Why God have you abandoned me?". I'm learning that I am not abandoned by God, but rather I am learning to abandon myself to Him. My daughter and I were just discussing this term as she questioned a current song on the radio. I think that's what saying yes to God is...abandoning ourselves wholly to Him! Thank you so much for sharing your testimony!

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    1. Pam, I love how you say " I'm learning that I am not abandoned by God, but rather I am learning to abandon myself to Him." YES! YES to HIM! Thanks for reading and for your encouraging words to me. I am finding this Bible study to be an experience rather than just a study...an experience of hearing from the Holy Spirit in where I need to be obedient. Very convicting!

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